


The Leslie Knope Protection Society

by RAVENSCORE



Series: The Pawnee Chronicles [5]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Everyone is wearing cloaks, Gen, Secret Society, Shovel Talk, Threats, cloaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:50:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8409244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RAVENSCORE/pseuds/RAVENSCORE
Summary: Ben knew Leslie's friends were protective of her, but he never imagined they had a secret society dedicated to threatening him.





	

Ben knew something was up when he received a mysterious letter saying to go to Ron’s office at midnight. He assumed it was probably some sort of prank by Andy and April, but for some unknown reason, he showed up anyway.

 

“What is happening right now?” He asked upon seeing Ann and the entire parks department sitting in Ron’s office wearing cloaks.

 

“We are the Leslie Knope Protection Society.” Ann said.

 

“And you don’t know who we are, because we’re wearing cloaks.” Andy chuckled.

 

“But seriously, what’s with the cloaks?”

 

“This club is a democracy.” Ron said. “So if the rest of the club votes on wearing cloaks, I have to wear one too.”

 

“It’s not a club, It’s a society.” April corrected. “Because society sounds way cooler.”

 

“Anyway” Ann continued “This club is devoted to hunting you down and killing you if you ever hurt Leslie Knope.”

 

“Society!” April yelled. “It’s a society!”

 

“But if you ever hurt her I will tear you limb from limb!” Ann threatened.

 

“Seriously, dude, I will rip your face off!” Said Andy.

 

“We work for the government, which means we can make you disappear.” Tom exclaimed.

 

“Don’t you dare mess with my girl!” Donna warned.

 

“I mean it buddy, I’ll kill ya.” Jerry added.

 

“Wyatt, you’re a good guy, and you’d probably go to heaven if I killed you.” Ron started.

 

“Umm… Thanks?” Replied Ben.

 

“...Which is why if you hurt Leslie, I will commit every sin there is, then kill both of us and drag your soul to hell with me.”

 

“Okaaay.” 

 

“I will rip your face off, shove it up your butt, then stick your limbs in a paper shredder.” Said April.

 

“I’m not going to hurt Leslie!” He exclaimed.

 

“Nah, I was going to do all that anyway, but if you hurt Leslie, I’ll do it twice.”

 

“What!”

 

“Meeting dismissed!” April yelled. Ben watched confusedly as they all walked out of the room as though nothing had happened. Maybe dating a woman with such good friends was a bad thing…


End file.
